Nice essay, Jan. I also found the appeal to only do "natural" things in sex to be an odd JW teaching. They condemn oral sex, in part, because it's an "unnatural" use of the sexual organs. Yet I know many elders who had to counsel young married men who had come to them because of having marital problems. Often the issue was one of sex, and the elders had to counsel the young men on the importance of foreplay in sex. Now, if oral sex is wrong, but foreplay is not only accepted but actually encouraged, where's the consistency? Without getting too graphic, how is a man expected to engage in foreplay with his wife (without involving oral sex)? Obviously the use of his fingers comes into play.
So now we have the totally inconsistent JW beliefs that the use of a man's fingers on his wife's sexual organ is encouraged, but the use of his tongue is forbidden! One is "natural", the other is "unnatural" to them, although on what grounds I cannot imagine. Neither one is using the sexual organs in they way they "obviously" fit, yet one "unnatural" variation is good and one "unnatural" variation is bad.
Thus it is when an organization makes man-made rules.