I had a thought for most of the ex-JWs who spent most of their lives in the borg. For those who left the borg, has anyone stopped and think, "Who am I really supposed to be apart from the borg?"

Have you ever wondered what your life would have been like if you had never been a JW? Do you feel like your whole self and identity has been stripped from you? (like what the borg tells you to "avoid independent thinking")

Thoughts?

Yizuman

 

Yes, I feel that because I became a Witness, there are alot of friends that I just don't have anymore.  Some are forever lost as I have lost contact with all the "worldly" people I knew, throwing out old phone books and starting fresh when I became a dub. 

I know that when I was urged on by my "spiritual parents" to get out of being the Maid of Honor at my sister's wedding, I know it deeply hurt her.

I missed my high school reunion because of JW's, both the 15 and 20 year reunions.

I am too embarrassed to call my best friend since kindergarten, but have found out where she is:  sadly, her dad died and it was published in the paper and my mom lives in our old area, so I got it.  I stopped returning her calls after I became a JW in 1991, so now its about 12 years since I spoke to her.

And, I know I passed on a great guy in order to continue my studies and he would not. 

It made me who I am today.  For better or worse. 

Blue, my dad and mom are so happy I am out of the borg.  My dad is excited about being able to celebrate holidays with my little girl and enjoy the fantasy of the Easter Bunny and Santa Clause............ 

yes! but i also agree with el kabong and blue sapphire.

Actually, I think that personality is a gift of God and never changes. What changes is the way in which we express that changless personality. We can sluff off that "skin" of fake personality the JWs forced on us and become our true selves again if we wish. I feel I did, and I've known others too.

I think all of us can do it.

francois

As I continue to question everything I was taught as a JW, I am gradually coming around to be the person I was meant to be.  I still don't know exactly who I am and need to keep living life to figure things out.  I know after I left the borg, it was odd for me to say "yes" to life....after years of turning down invitations.  That's my advice....say "yes!!!" to life and experience as much as you can. 

"Opportunity only dances with those on the dance floor."

Readers Digest Quote

Sometimes I feel like I belong in another time and place like merry ol' England when men wore those suits and hats or even the Medievel times when chivalry was not dead and when honor meant something

So go join the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism)! There's lots of people there who think like you do...trust me

Lady Asleif Dufansdottir  ~ Order of the Leather Mallet, Order of the Golden Calon Swan, Order of the Torse, former Arts & Sciences Champion and Seneschal of the Barony of Lonely Tower, Calontir (all, of course, after I got out of the Borg)

I became a JW as an adult, so I always knew who I was...I just became myself again (albeit wiser) after I left.

Simon,

This will sound really corny, but my heart was so saddened by what you wrote. It made me realize that you have had your share of tribulations as well. I hope you will be able to find him within yourself. At this point I want to write something about how you will find him, or how good the journey to finding him will be, but words fail me at the moment.

I hope my awkward words convey some of what I am trying to say. Basically, I want to scream, "You can find him!" and to tell you that I worry that you won't.

Yizuman,

I am so glad to see that someone has had the same thought. I thought I was the only one who noticed that.

At one point in my life, I noticed that my identity was tied up with my being a JW and with the company I worked for. I had ceased to talk in terms of "me" and in terms of "us". I spent over the next decade reversing that. I noticed that the JWs tended to make me lose my identity, the uniqueness who is "me".

I fought it, sometimes with a lot of diligence and the assistance of self-help books....even as a JW I knew that the Society discouraged self-help books out of selfish motives...

Who I am is far from perfect and is not the most exciting person in the world. But that person is me, and for the most part I am happy with who I am. Interestingly, it is part of me to not be completely satisfied with who I am. I like to think that part of me helps me to continually improve myself, so that I can accomplish more and be a better person for others.

I am re-finding who I was, and am pretty much restored to the same person. I could use more of the fire, the passion, the insatisible curiousity for life, and belief in humanity that I had as a child, but I am finding that again. Part of that difference is the caution that maturing into an adult puts into a person. Part of that is having to deal with insane situations for too long, but fortunately those situations are gone for the most part.

I really enjoyed this thread, Yizuman.

Richard

I lost a lot to the borg...

but my identity was only squashed flat, folded and put away. I took it out, shook the dust off and was me again in a fairly short time.

I lost several years of good times with so many excellent people... including my friend Lynne who died way too soon after I came to my senses... :(

~Witch