Interesting view of forgiveness. Psychology has diverse stances on this issue.
The above article is not the only way or option.
In fact I take issue with this aspect,'forgiveness issue prompted participants to EMPATHIZE with the offender...."
No,that's not right and doesn't truly benefit the victims.
Forgivness means coming to terms with our rage and anger-relieving ourselves of the burden of carrying it around. But empathizing with the abuser is NOT a part of this. Forgiveness is a gift we give OURSELVES(not the abuser).
We forgive by putting our healing and wellness first! And many times this includes terminating associations or relationships with abusers.
We forgive by letting go of our connection with them-to suffer the consequences of their own behaviors and crimes. Forgiveness is the gift of freedom we gives OURSELVES to start mending to find our own worth and esteem,pursuing positive growth and change.
Forgiveness is all about taking care of ourselves and in no way condones,ignores,excuses or empathizes with what anyone has perpetrated on us.
I'm not knocking having the quality of empathy here. It's just that in many cases of abuse,the victim has an over-developed sense of it.
It contributed by causing re-victimization in many cases.
Keeping empathy at a healthy boundary level is empowering and is not always needed in the recovery and forgiveness process.
Just MHO,FWIW,Tina
The above article is not the only way or option.
In fact I take issue with this aspect,'forgiveness issue prompted participants to EMPATHIZE with the offender...."
No,that's not right and doesn't truly benefit the victims.
Forgivness means coming to terms with our rage and anger-relieving ourselves of the burden of carrying it around. But empathizing with the abuser is NOT a part of this. Forgiveness is a gift we give OURSELVES(not the abuser).
We forgive by putting our healing and wellness first! And many times this includes terminating associations or relationships with abusers.
We forgive by letting go of our connection with them-to suffer the consequences of their own behaviors and crimes. Forgiveness is the gift of freedom we gives OURSELVES to start mending to find our own worth and esteem,pursuing positive growth and change.
Forgiveness is all about taking care of ourselves and in no way condones,ignores,excuses or empathizes with what anyone has perpetrated on us.
I'm not knocking having the quality of empathy here. It's just that in many cases of abuse,the victim has an over-developed sense of it.
It contributed by causing re-victimization in many cases.
Keeping empathy at a healthy boundary level is empowering and is not always needed in the recovery and forgiveness process.
Just MHO,FWIW,Tina