Well, it's been a good ten months since I walked away from the JWs and it's been quite a journey.  I notice that the initial fears, self-doubt and rage are no longer with me.  When I first left I could hardly look at a WT or Awake magazine without getting wave after wave of anxiety and frustration.  I would analyze over and over my decision to leave (although I never thought about going back, ever) and was in a deep depression.  Countless emails and phone calls to support groups etc. 

Over time all this eased up considerably.  Now, I don't really have any guilt feelings about leaving the Society.  When a JW snubs me on the street (yes, it's happened a couple of times) I don't wonder to myself if they might be right, I just think how incredibly ridiculous the whole religion is (it's amazing, actually).  I can look at and even read through WT and Awake articles without a twinge of my former thinking patterns. 

Better still, I feel that I am starting to rebuild aspects of my life -- moving beyond just tearing my old beliefs down.  I'm back in college, slowly making friends, and am cultivating my own "spirituality" (a mixture of existential philosophy, Taoism and evolutionary psychology).  I can think of the JWs with a balanced eye -- critical about many things, love for the people in it, and humor at much of it (yes, all of the Awake!). 

Still, there are peculiar feelings that crop up every now and then.  I know I am very well along in my recovery, but I am curious how others view their "recovery time" after the JWs.  Do you think there are different stages in exiting and making it in the real world?  What stage are you in?  How long did it take?  (sometimes I'm surprised at the rapidity of my recovery -- sometimes that scares me a little). 

Have a great weekend everybody

Bradley

No one is the same, but in general, it takes lots of time to get over it.

It's like if you break up with your girl friend. Some will forget her right away, the moment they meet someone else, and others will remember her for years.

You seem to be coming on fine with your life. Keep on going to college, and build your future.  With the Jehovah witnesses, you aren't able to advance in life. They are waiting and waiting and waiting, losing their lives in the process.

 

I have been out gosh about 3 years now I guess...lol time flies when you are having fun   It took me some time to feel comfortable with my decision...and the consequences of it.  I no longer spend much time mourning my family members that shun me...I enjoy the newfound independance being my own person has made me...and am still working on my stunted social skills.

Funny I found when I first left the dubs I grasped at life with greedy hands, trying to make up for all that lost time.  I tend to savor it a bit more nowdays...enjoying it to the fullest, but no longer feeling the need to experience everything RIGHT NOW! 

lol JD it's nice not to have to wait for the "new system" to achieve the things you want to...and experience life, huh? 

 

 

 

 

Everything takes time, your on a cruise, enjoy it. Enjoy your freedom and just keep building on what your heart leads you to do.

 

Guest 77

Hi LR

As far as I've gone with it at this point, I'd have to agree with what many in this forum have said: in general, it depends on how long you were "in." One year out for every 5 years in, something like that.

For what formulas are worth.

I like the way J6 says it:Craig

Scooby, welcome to the forum!

When I joined this group last summer, I started laughing/crying/aching/laughing/crying in an almost non-stop cycle for close to a month. Also had a lot of anger venting.

It's not been an easy road, but wow...the scenery is getting better every day.

Craig

Bradley! great that you were able to get rid of alot so quickly- when they ousted me- there was no exjws that I knew off ( 1987) but something you mentioned that my advice would be a no-no ( for me anyway)You say you can read the WT & Awake ...But I learned that just like a alcholic has to stay away from the booze a cultist leaving should stay away from the writings. It has the Spirit of Deception!!! within those pages.... something you read my tempt you to think "Oh that sound logical. but it is just like that cool glass of lemonade on a hot day-it looks good smells good but there is a couple of drops of arsnic in it- You cannot detect it.. but it is there .... take care my friend.

Good to hear that Bradly-- Hope I didnt sound "preachy" It is hard for an old leapord  to change his spots-exuse me!!!!I couldnt read em!!! I get ill Truthfully!!!!

Good job logan! You have made excellent progress. College is great. Fill your mind with all the new and fresh information you can get! About the being snubbed part...Do what I do. If it is a so-called lifer, strong JW. Go out of your way to get in their face with a friendly hello and smile. Make them squirm. Why play there game? I about give a young elder the other day a heart attack I think. He did not see me coming! I moved right into his space and gave him a hearty hello as if it were old times! He nearly lost his balance and was so damn flustered, he returned my greeting! He was the same elder I sent my resignation letter to. He was the same one who told me I would be treated as disfellowshipped! Have some fun logan! Congratulations! Duane Wing