While reading minimus' post on whether some of us miss our friends at the KH, I remembered something I studied in sociology. We choose our friends for a variety of reasons and at different levels of closeness. I personally feel friends at the KH are mostly "convenience" friends, in that if we changed to another congregation, we would have little further contact with them even if that congregation is in the same city. Its the convenience of seeing each other 2 to 3 times each week at a central location.
Then there are the "special interest" friends, the Truth being the special interest. It is easy to see that when this is gone, the friendship ends unless there are additional connecting factors such as history.I thought it might be interesting to see what category our friends tend to fall into and why they do not survive our leaving the WTS.
1. Convenience friends
These are the neighbor or office mate or member of our car pool whose lives routinely intersect with ours. [...] But we don't... ever come too close or tell too much: We maintain our public face and emotional distance.
2. Special-interest friends
These friendships depend on the sharing of some activity or concern. [doing something together rather than just being together]
3. Historical friends
With luck we also have a friend who knew us... way back when... [childhood friends]
4. Crossroads friends
Like historical friends, our crossroads friends are important for what was -- for the friendship we shared at a crucial, now past, time of life...
With historical friends and crossroads friends we forge links strong enough to endure with not much more contact than once-a-year letters at Christmas, maintaining a special intimacy -- dormant but always ready to be revived -- on those rare but tender occasions when we meet.
5. Cross-generational friends
Across the generations the younger enlivens the older, the older instructs the younger. [...] And because we are unconnected by blood, our words of advice are accepted as wise, not intrusive, our childish lapses don't summon up warnings and groans.
6. Close friends
Although we may not expose as much -- or the same kinds of things -- to each of our closest friends, close friendships involve revealing aspects of our private self... [...] We reveal ourself not only by telling but also by wordlessly showing what we are, by showing the unattractive -- as well as the nice.
