The Manageable Human Disassembling Personal Boundaries Disassembling personal boundaries clears the way for abusive behavior. It allows the abusers the freedom to violate people who defer to them without expectation of consequences to the abuser. The Watch Tower Publishing Corporate Conglomerate, directing all and speaking for their agents, Jehovah's Witnesses, has honed and perfected a system designed to eliminate almost all personal boundaries of it's members and train them to accept all kinds of behaviors that these members would never accept in a healthy environment. They are taught that healthy human reactions to outrageous or offensive behaviors are a sign of spiritual illness or immaturity. Humility is a favorite catchword and a pivot point. The member with almost no boundaries is the most humble. Members offend other members and cross human boundaries frequently and the offended member is not supposed to resent the offense or break rapport. The offense is most often delivered as "counsel". Those members with the least reaction to outrageous invasive behaviors by other group members are the most humble. Members are constantly tested and those members wanting to be social and accepted must submit to frequent personal inquisition and invasion on many levels. Where's your necktie brother? Your skirt is too short sister! Anything of a personal nature, like my choice of clothing, hair combing, design of transportation vehicle, or my choice of friends, is protected by personal boundaries. It is never okay to comment to me on any of these choices unless I ask for your opinion. It is never okay for a casual acquaintance to inquire about or judge my sex behaviors, my choices of medical treatment, the food I choose to eat, or my motives for doing anything. The Watch Tower Corporation's first job with a new recruit is to justify the disassembling of those personal boundaries. They do that with statements like this:
"The purpose of considering a Bible character is to show what can be learned from his example. Acts of faithfulness, courage, humility, and unselfishness furnish good examples to be followed; unfaithful acts as well as undesirable traits stand as strong warnings to turn Christians away from an improper course." Our Kingdom Ministry, October 1999 page 3
Dispensing with personal boundaries is seen as faithful, courageous, humble, and unselfish, while healthy offense and dislike for invasion of boundaries is seen as unfaithful and undesirable behavior. Once the group member has accepted this, the way is clear for the workers of the high personal control to move in. Another way to keep the members under the control of the group leaders is to identify normal, healthy human tendencies as spiritual weaknesses. "Am I as eager to engage in the ministry as I am to go on an outing? Am I as willing to spend time preparing for meetings as I am to shop or watch TV?" The Watchtower, April 15 1999, page 20 How to Recognize and Overcome Any Spiritual Weakness
Those who are not eager to engage in unpaid distribution of religious literature on their only day off from work are painted as spiritually weak. The same with those who do not really enjoy putting on an IBM business suit or a dress and pantyhose and sit through a two hour meeting on a weeknight. So here we have it. Healthy human needs, preferences, and desires are seen as illness, normal feelings of offense when a personal boundary is breached is seen as pride, and dislike for and loss of rapport with the offender is seen as lack of the fruitage of God's spirit in our activities. "This is reflected in the degree to which the fruitage of Gods spirit is manifest in all our activities." The Watchtower April 15, 1999 page 20
Next time a Jehovah's Witness comments to me about my choice of clothing, my car, my home, my music, or my friends, and threatens to shun me unless I allow it to continue, I realize a boundary is being crossed and I am being insulted and abused in the name of God. Is this the essence of religious abuse? gb Comments welcome:-) 
- "American Cowboy" Nathan 
I suppose we all have questioned ourselves, now that we are "out", as to how we could ever have allowed ourselves to be "taken in" so horribly. It is a crush to us. We feel so used and abused. Perhaps we fall into it, because we are "used" to being abused. Perhaps we come from an abusive, dysfunctional family already, and fit right into the borg, like the piece of a puzzle. We actually feel comfortable, protected, at peace. We know nothing else. The problem many have with "coming to a screeching halt", or "stopping", is that usually, family members are inmeshed in the organization. If one member even misses a meeting, the others all try to see what's wrong, or invade the privacy of that person. They do this, not so much because they believe that the person's spiritual life is at stake. They do it because they fear being "abandoned" by the person trying to leave. Does this make any sense? Long before JW's ever came to our home back in 1959, my mom was an emotional basket case. She was in a very unhappy, unfulfilled marriage, but she was a good woman. She tried really hard and got beaten down over and over. But, she was "used" to existing like that. She passed that behavior, that acceptance on to her children. JW's gave her the attention she needed, but she settled into a "similar marriage" with them. We just followed along as obedient children. She was afraid of loneliness and had to control us. She made all our decisions for us, even up to the time I left at age 21. The clothes I wore, the style of my hair. She read ALL my mail, before I got home from school/work/service. She had to control us, because dad controlled her and everything else. They didn't drink. They didn't do drugs. And, they thought we had a "normal" family. All of us kids were suffocating. To have the JW's settle in and dictate more control through the organization and our mother, we had no boundaries at all.When we finally see things in the light, we are hurt, angry, frustrated. We naturally rebel. Sometimes we hurt ourselves further because we don't get healed first before we try to "make things right again". We literally have to re-train ourselves and our thought processes. We have to begin again and that is no easy task. That's why this common bond in places like this Forum do so much good. I think about all of you on here. I think about the heartache and pain that we all share as this common bond; but I also see the courage, hope, strength, comfort, love, joy and peace that abounds as well. Most all of us are adults. Look how long it took us to "fix" ourselves. And the work still continues. Children have no choices. Parents decide for them. They are at the mercy of their parents, if their parents don't make wise choices. And, if parents are being damaged by the WBTS, then it trickles right on down. So, that's why there are a heck of a lot of folks out here that are adults trying to fix themselves. They are trying to repair relationships with mates, children, family and friends. Stuff that has been engrained into their minds from tender years and on through the JW experience. My brother said to me recently that he hasn't met a "normal" family. He doesn't think it's possible or that it could ever exist. Perhaps our society has damaged itself so badly through the years, even without JW influence, that the family unit is falling apart. Add the JW influence, and the mess is only compounded. Parents bear a great responsibility to try and get it right with themselves. They need to allow their children the freedom to choose. Faith in a peticular belief cannot be "forced". And, what good is attending all the meetings, and "doing" all the right things, if you don't feel it in your heart? This means, that "children", should not be getting baptized. They should not be told that they will die a horrible death at Armegeddon if they aren't baptised. I've seen posts on here where the person indicates that they have been baptised as young as eleven! That is outrageous.This type of control and removal of bounderies is the practice of cults. Personal choice is gone. Listening to one's own conscience, gone. Inability to make simple choices--even when "it's ok", is gone.......... We've had a lot taken from us. Now we are getting it back.