I didn't learn to cry again until after I left. It was so hard in the beginning to just let go and give myself permission to feel the grief.
Because of the emotional controls placed on victims of mind control most people wind up feeling dead inside. The only expression that is allowed is to be happy because you are part of "God's happy people" but inside I was dying and thought of dying every day. Sadness grief loss anger rage are not permitted and if you have to hide some of those stronger feelings then it is only natural that the softer feelings go into hiding too. They only thing left is the mask that hides the true self even from ourselves