After you leave a cult you quickly return to normal.  Least I did. (whatever normal is)  The problem with your emotions normalizing is that many of yourloved ones remain locked up inside the cult and our emotions have to be curtailed still.   I've been out for over 20 yrs and although I still love my jw siblings, who've shunned me all this time, the lack of association and exchange of warmth and experiences, means I've cooled off quite a bit towards them.  I still love them, but.    I think it's called "the law of deminishing returns".  I really don't know if we could rebuild again if they were to wake up. So much water has gone under the bridge....................

Marilyn

I've never blamed my juu experiance for not crying.  I'm more inclined to think our whole western society makes it a no-no for men to show their emotions. I've always cried inside, just never let the world know it. Not till I participated in several communications workshops have I been able to really show on my skin what is going on inside.  In my business circles, being honest about your feelings is a sign of weakness or at least not being "emotionally stable" when in fact its the stoics I've come to distrust.

 

carmel

dantheman, my husband and I left together which probably helped somewhat.  Plus

our neighbours quickly invited us into their lives.  We had 2 small children - another avenue

for meeting people and my husbands work colleagues were a sociable lot.  Having a

social stucture to turn to helps very much.

I have also changed countries a couple of times (since leaving the Org) and I know that

all change takes about  2 yrs - especially if the change is very radical  - maybe even

longer.   We had been loosing faith for a good three years before we 'down tools' and

walked off the job.  When we left we were VERY ready for change.

So there weren't a lot of recriminations about whether we'd done the right thing. We were

very sure we'd done the right thing.

What aspect are you finding the most difficult?  We didn't have the internet in 1981 nor

had we met anyone apostates - so we had to sort out the spiritual stuff ourselves. Actually

it was our commonsense that prevailed in the end - a kind of gut feeling that the whole

thing was terribly flawed.  

I guess you are learning very fast from what you are reading here.  So glad your family

weren't in.  I've had 20 yrs the shunning thing.  :-(

Marilyn.  email me any time   famurf@bigpond.net.au

Recovering your old personality will come I think, as you correct all the shit the WT put in your head. It seems to me everyday I find myself changing, almost like I'm makeing up for lost time.

Many things we do in a mindless way through out the day that are from the conditioning we recieved from the WT .

Often I find myself being more mindfull of why I feel certain ways and realize that much of it is carry overs that our fading as the mind control is losing its grip. I don't think it can be any other way if you have spent many years in a cult.

Well........

I must have been a REAL "odd duck" as a JW!!! I've ALWAYS been emotional, sensitive, whatever.

 I remember when a sister was telling me about something that had happened to her daughter (she'd gotten severely burned) and as she was relating the story, my eyes had welled up. She just looked at me in awe and said she couldn't believe how what had happened to her daughter could affect me so much!

In one congregation I had belonged to, our bookstudy conductor's darling 7 year old son had gotten attacked by a dog at a get-together (I hadn't been invited to) and our car group had stopped by to visit. When I walked in and saw his little face and all the swelling and stitches, I had to bolt for the kitchen so I wouldn't lose it in front of him. For YEARS after that, his Mom would comment on how astonished (but touched) she was at my reaction.

I had been working out in service with a newly re-instated brother and in chatting with him I had discovered he was the son of a dear older sister (annointed) that I had known from another congregation. I loved her! She was very sweet and very humble. I asked how she was doing since she had moved to Florida a few years before. He looked at me wide-eyed and said she had died recently...and I just said "Oh no!".......and got all teary-eyed to the point where I couldn't pull myself together enough to go to the doors any more that day.

Five or six more incidents come to mind, but I won't put'em all down here.......I guess you get the idea. For some unknown reason, I never adopted that cold and callous attitude I was supposed to have as a JW! (except when it came to shunning DFed ones)

Quack-quack!

 

Hugs,

Annie....the Odd Duck!

I want to thank everyone for your comments different pionts of veiw are benificial and reflect what we really  happen to them after leaving the Borg in our beleifs.

I'm sure some new ones that are just finding out that WT uses mind control will get some encouragement from your experiences.

Introspection, some of my realizations about my emotions have come to me clearer thru meditation useing brain wave CDs.

 

 

 

 

I agree with Marilyn, at first when I left my emotions where sooo very raw. Sometimes thinking of the ones you left, those you know truly did love you, then for the lose of relatives you no longer have a relationship with, because you get shunned, that was the hard part, especially if they are siblings you grew up with, who now have families of their own, who also are not allowed to speak to you. I really try not to think to much about this, and as time has gone by, you put up a protection wall so as not to get hurt. So now it only hurts some of the time.

I remember hearing the cruel tales of how everyone except J.W.s were going to be killed and tortured in Armageddon. I always had that gut feeling of something being wrong. I think I felt similar emotions that I do now, only now they make sense to me. Back then I just thought I was crazy for not wanting to accept it.