IMO Number 1...Secret sin.

I can just see the witlesses now.  The big A is over, the birds of the heavens are stuffing themselves on the billions of carcases lying around, the dubs are gleefully cleaning up the mess with the zeal that they clean the kingdumb hall before the memorial with.  Than someone says 'I thought for sure brother seemsfaithfull would have made it?'  Than elder highandmighty says 'well obviously he must of had some secret sin that only Jehovah knew about.'

Missing meetings or field service, having worldly friends, not following the directions of the "slave", questioning anything you hear from the podium, any sort of sexual activity except missionary position while married.  It almost seemed like you would die just for breathing.

When my daughter was born, my Mom started working on me to get reinstated so she wouldn't die at Armageddon.

Thank God I couldn't behave well enough to be a Witness.

Not becoming a regular pioneer upon leaving school.

That was the attitude in my cong. There was intense pressure upon ALL school leavers of 16 years of age to become pioneers.

Paul

Sacoloton, I can envision it all. Only I will add that a long line of Bunny Hoppers will snake in and out of the neighborhoods and once in a while, the great DJ in the sky will stop everyone to do the Chicken Dance.

2. Having a dirty car. You can die at Armegeddon if you have a dirty car.

freespirit, when you admitted oral sex ... did any of the spiritual elders fight over with whom should meet with you in private at your home to ... uh, give counsel and maybe go over a few scriptures while going over all the vivid details?

Elder #1: Sister Freespirit has admitted to performing oral sex.

Elder #2: Oh, really?

Elder #3: She did?

Elder #4: Is that so?

Elder #1: She feels no remorse. Who should go speak with her at her home in private?

All: HERE I AM!  SEND ME!  SEND ME!

Missing the VERY LAST Meeting before Armagedon...{Imagine anouncements}  "We have a special anouncement tonight, Armagedon will be here in two hours so if you could all please get on the school buses outside, we will be leaving for the mountains........by the way Brothers....does anyone know how to drive a Bus?"