I've taken several. Zoloft worked the best, but like the rest of them, it made me too sleepy. I stayed on it long enough to kick my self out of the depression though. I took it more than once over the years.

I take natural remedies. I take Ativan for anxiety when I need it. And I have an amazing and positive therapist. I do cope better than I did a year ago, when Andy had his accident and we ended up losing Mickey and moving to Tennessee without Andy.

My temp to hire position ended yesterday. I should be more upset about it than I am. I am not saying it doesn't hurt me or worry me, but I am handling it much better with the tools my therapist has given me.

I have at times felt in so much emotional pain that I was unable to function. I would think I was never going to make it through the pain. But it ALWAYS got better.

isn't this a part of accepting the things I can't change?  What I am learning is to not expect my family (husband) to change, and then make my personal decisions, set my personal direction according to what I can manage within that.  For me, I had to get away.  You have to live your life oompa, today, you can't wait for others to change.

Is there anyway you can set some boundaries around your issues , and try living, breathing your own air so to speak?

I take one day at a time and try not to dwell on the negative.  Someone told me once that every day when you wake up you can choose if you will be happy that day or not.  I choose to be happy.  And I work toward that goal.  It sounds simple I know but IMO if you focus on positives it's hard to stay depressed.   And there is always something positive in most any situation if you look for it hard enough. 

oomp,

The longer you go without drinking, the more your old self will return.  Remember that alcohol is a depressant, and drinking as much as we did has an affect over time. It probably took me six months to get on an even keel.  So don't get down on yourself, or expect that it will change overnight.

As for the meds, if they are not working talk to your doctor. They had me on Lexapro for a while and it did help-me. But trust your doctor and be honest about what is going on with you to him.

All the best, little brother!

JK

Hang in there brother.  It's a bad ride but if you hang on it will get better.

In 2000 I lost my marriage of 20 years (thanks to the help of wtbs)...lost my business that was bringing me in $170k a year...lost my faith... wound up living in my office.  I slept away the days on a futon...drinking heavily.  I went to therapy which helped a lot.  They put me on three diff meds which helped at first but scared me when they said I'd be on them forever...so i slowly got off of them as therapy continued to help.  My income dropped to homeless level....I lost my office...my daughter would not come to see me...and then I got cancer.  It's been one hellava 7 year ride.  I met a woman in 2002 that helped me get thru some of the crap and this past year things have started to look up finacially...although not there yet.

All I can say is find someone (hopefully qualified) to talk to.  Remember to love yourself. You have a lot to offer the world.   Join a gym for the physical lift and the social aspects...beats drinking heavily.  I was affiliated with the dubs for 50 years but I quickly realized there are a LOT of realy nice people in the "world" who will take the time to care about you. The WTBS is not a supportive group no matter what they say.   If you wanna talk you can pm me. 

-BONEZZ

1) Go natural in your diet and eliminate any toxic junk being sold cheaply that you may be consuming. That manufactured stuff doesn't help at all no matter how a person may argue otherwise about it. Sure it tastes great. Great enough to make people addicted to it. Yes, fast food and junk snacks are big business and will hook people. They sure aren't thinking of your health, mental or otherwise. Only your cash. Supply your body with serotonin as it helps with your mood. And lay off the alcohol. Try it!

2) Some exercise. Try walking, a leisure bicycle ride in the neighborhood or simple stretching. Try to release the natural endorphines your brain produces. You will be amazed on how the body will adapt to physical resistance in this form and will make you feel great physically, mentally and emotionally. The human body was made/created/or evolved to MOVE. Sooner or later you will find yourself needing to exercise and that your stamina will increase. When I was down and depressed, I could only swim 100 meters in a pool without stopping. Now, I can swim 2,000 meters without stopping. Some physical activity lifts our mood. Try it! 

3) Therapy in the form of professional counseling. Let them help you help yourself. You need to be informed. That is why you even came to this board and posted a thread about your dilemma.

4) Music you love.

5) Comedy you need.

6) People (family or friends) to listen and support and to love you. Hey, it sounds like many here on JWD!! Ah, that's why you're here. Great!

7) Books on depression gives some insight, but don't overwhelm yourself with them. Books on cognitive therapy are helpful. Self affirmation works too.

8) Meds if needed, but don't depend on them forever. They are there to use so you can try to stabilze. I tried Paxil for a year. I didn't like the side effects. Each person's body chemistry will react differently than what the doctor thinks or prescribes. Try to give yourself a reasonable limit, both in the amount of medication and the length of time you will be taking them. You don't want to be a walking zombie-like chemistry lab. 

9) You are what you think. Thoughts are actions rehearsed.

Oompa, get better. We appreciate who you are and you contribute so much to the JWD community. Power to you!

Alligator Wisdom (aka Brother NOT Exerting Vigorously)

Therapy, therapy, therapy. I didn't want to at first. But I am so very glad I did it. My therapist is wonderful. And it is 45 minutes for just me, once a week. I still don't understand why sitting in a room and conversing with a stranger helps, but it does! I always feel like crap afterwards. It's normal she says. But the next day I feel much better. It is hard to dig deep into your soul and examine all the horrible things I have there. But they need to be dug up and examined, then ultimately thrown away for me to heal.

momz

Thanks all.  I am no longer in therapy.  I have tried two therapists and one of my psychiatrists was essentially my favorite therapist to boot.  All three expressed strong doubt my marriage would make it, and basically encouraged me to seperate.....two of them met with my wife and me.......and while they like her, they know she is under total JW control, and they all think it is a cult.  I asked for marital counseling at one session with my wife but of course she will only rely on the bruddas for that.  I think the docs cant see me moving on much while so closely linked to this cult by my wife, and it is a constant reminder. 

I have read a book about postive affirmations and positve thinking, but have not been able to make myself exercise as hard as I need to.......I really need to push myself there.  I must have tried 10 different meds the past three years, and can tell very little effect with them....not everbody responds to them I was told.  I was takin up to five things at one time, so am glad to be down to just one thing.  I may be too afraid to make decisions I don't really want to face........and I think that is what is really paralyzing me.........oompa