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noontideI went head to head with my family and I lost
Just got done with a 3 hr. argument with my family. The essence of the “conversation” was that since I’m not going to the meetings, aka: in the “organization”, I’m not a good person. They said I’m an independent thinker and straddling the line towards apostasy. I shouldn’t think for myself and Satan has a hold on me. God has an organization, the Watchtower”, he directs them through his “Discrete Slave” and I should agree with everything they say, even it they later change some ideas, it’s just God’s way of adjusting his flock. They cried, said they loved me and said they did not want to see me die. I tried to reason with them, tried to make some good points, but I think everything I said came out wrong. The following are some points I touched upon. The first bullet point is mine, the second is my family's response: 

· Children baptized at a young age (7,8,9 years old) they are not old enough or mature enough to comprehend what they are doing.
o If Jehovah did not approve of this, the Slave would have changed this a long time ago. They are old enough to comprehend what they are doing (marriage is completely different, it does not apply here). Gave examples of the children that became kings in biblical times. These kids were Jehovah approved; the same principle applies today.

· Reporting of hours – should we not preach because it comes from the heart, not because we want to meet the minimum hours?
o The apostles came back and reported their experiences and the amount of days they spent with the congregations. That is why we should report hours today.

· We should use our heads, use reason and logic and not agree with everything the “Slave” says.
o That sounds like and apostate thought. Even if the “Slave” is misguided, Jehovah will clear things up in his own time.

§ Why do we need to belong to an organization to serve God?
o Jehovah has always had an organization. He always works through his organization. If I’m not in the organization there is no way I can please or worship God. They are not perfect but God is using them today. I should submit to God’s will and be humble, independent thoughts will lead me to death; I am fulfilling Satan’s wishes.

§ The “Slave is not infallible” they have said it themselves; they are not inspired by God.
o So now I am smarter than the Slave, Satan thought he was smarter than God. This is God’s instrument and he adjusts their thinking when things are wrong in his due time. Even if we don’t comprehend things, we should follow their direction because sooner or later God will readjust their thinking and they will let us know. I must not run ahead of God’s chariot. I must be humble and patient.

§ The heavenly hope keeps changing. First it was done in 1935, and then it was open to fill the ones that were unfaithful, now it is open again.
o It was obviously not finished. Jehovah is readjusting our thinking and knowledge. We don’t judge or mistrust those who claim to be of the anointed, even before the current information came out, if an individual began to declare he or she was not anointed, it was between God and the individual, the organization never judged them.

I could go on, but I won’t. It just seemed that for every good point I made (or so I thought) it came down to, you are not humble, you think you are smarter; you have independent thoughts just like Satan. You cannot worship God if you are not a Witness. The organization is not perfect and I will see a lot of things that go wrong, but the Israelites did a lot of bad things, and that did not mean that they were not his organization. Jehovah uses imperfect people and an imperfect organization to do his will, it makes things harder but he is patient with us and he keeps on readjusting our thinking. Lastly, I’m making my family suffer and basically I suck as a person.

I feel like I didn’t score any points. By the way, I faded and I still speak with my family, but after tonight I think a lot of things are going to change. They knew I was out but they did not know what I thought. They know now, so I think they will cut all contact with me. There are two elders in my family and one ministerial servant, 5 of them are pioneers and two of them are being trained as Circuit Overseers (husband and wife team).  My arguments did not make a single dent in their thinking. Once they cut me off, I will be all alone in the world.

I feel sad, depressed and a bit scared of the future without my family. Still, what a wonderful provision Jehovah has made! Kick your family to the curb if they don’t agree with everything his “Slave” says. The good thing is, since the big A is coming really soon, God will destroy me and I won’t have to worry about stuff like this anymore.  Well, c’est la vie. Thanks for letting me rant.
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JoyNicholsRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost
"Winning" is not the point.  Being true to yourself is the point.  And that actually is winning.  You did not lose.  They have lost - themselves to a cult.  You are free to build new relationships, new family, new knowledge.  Fly!
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GopherRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost

Well, it sounds like both you and the family had their say. They feel they lost, in the sense of losing you to "the world".

It's hard enough to convince one loyal JW of anything, much less a whole group. You were up against impossible odds. You lost nothing, you were true to yourself.

Except now you'll have the opportunity to fill your life with people who accept you for the good person you are, and not whether you're in line with a bunch of old guys at some religious headquarters somewhere.

Anyway, we're here to support you in the process. It's good to have a 24/7 support site like this!!

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SwitchRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost

Your experience sounds much like a conversation I had with my mom a couple weeks ago.  We covered much of the same points and she always had the same defensive answers.  Every week they are being warned in some form about apostate thinking and they chalk any independent thinking up to Satan.  You certainly can't question the elders or GB, though imperfect, they are doing the best they can.  (yeah, right).   

My mom reminded me that I made a vow to Jehovah and I'd be breaking that if I didn't listen to the organization.  (The org. and Jehovah are inseparable to her too).  I firmly told her that I wasn't leaving Jehovah but I'm doing research and I don't believe it's the Truth because I'm finding lies.  She grumbled and didn't have answers for that, but she said she's very sure it's the Truth. 

So my goal now is to compile whatever misquotes and lies from the WT publications that I can find over the next couple months.  I think the kicker for a lot of witnesses would be to see them for themselves in black and white.  I'm not going to tackle deep doctrinal issues, though I will share some of the brilliant thinking of Russell and Rutherford.  I also won't push the child abuse, U.N. scandals, etc. much cuz I think that'd immediately be dismissed as unreliable or some sort of overblown reporting.

I don't know even then if it will open the minds of my mom or friends, but I'm hoping to at least make them see why I've made the decision to leave and it's not because I'm a lazy or bad person.  But it IS our lives we're talking about.  Assuming it's coming, could I face God on Judgment Day and tell him I stayed and supported this religion not because I thought it was his true organization but simply because all my friends and family liked it?! 

I wish everyone the best in their endeavors.  Keep us posted.

 

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Anti-ChristRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost
I feel sad, depressed and a bit scared of the future without my family. Still, what a wonderful provision Jehovah has made! Kick your family to the curb if they don’t agree with everything his “Slave” says. The good thing is, since the big A is coming really soon, God will destroy me and I won’t have to worry about stuff like this anymore.  Well, c’est la vie. Thanks for letting me rant.

We all know that feeling. Don't worry things do get better the more we are able to deprogram our self from all that mind control and when we find people who love us and appreciate us they way we are.

Like most have said already, it's not about loosing a conversation but being true to one self. The ones that are still in are "captive of a concept" ( I have not read the book yet)  all the arguments that they us is based on the belief that the WT is god's organisation. I like to use the argument that all of god's earthly org. in the bible  ended up turning against him in one way or the other. The ones that notice it were persecuted by the rest. Jesus warned is followers to guard against becoming like the Pharisees, so many rules that the forget the most important, love and mercy. 

 

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Jim_TXRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost
Don't beat yourself up too much. It sounds like you were there speaking to a group of JWs. You were out-numbered.

Just a question (I've been out for many years). Don't the JWs teach/preach - Make sure of all things - hold fast to what is fine? (Wasn't that the name of one of their books?)

So... aren't you supposed to think and research the teachings of the JWs? This cannot possibly be considered 'independent' thinking when one is directed to do it by the very organization that condemns it - if someone does it?

So... aren't THEY (your family) the ones who are on the hot seat (as it were) to do research?

Anyway... like I said - you were out-numbered. There is no way you could've 'won' any arguments with those odds.

Regards,

Jim TX
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oompaRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost
noontide: · Children baptized at a young age (7,8,9 years old) they are not old enough or mature enough to comprehend what they are doing.
o If Jehovah did not approve of this, the Slave would have changed this a long time ago. They are old enough to comprehend what they are doing (marriage is completely different, it does not apply here). Gave examples of the children that became kings in biblical times. These kids were Jehovah approved; the same principle applies today.

· Reporting of hours – should we not preach because it comes from the heart, not because we want to meet the minimum hours?
o The apostles came back and reported their experiences and the amount of days they spent with the congregations. That is why we should report hours today.

Yeah going up against a pack that that is tough, but just maybe they will reflect on some of what you said and it could have an effect....you never know.  They certainly lose on the comments above though.  A year or so ago the WT study article even metioned that children were not baptized in the first century.  There is also no mention of kids getting baptized in the Bible....and they use that argument enough....and you can take that age up to at least 18....teens only have a couple of things on their mind and it aint lifelong devotion to God. 

The apostles reporting experiences thing can be done in the hall too, but was not required by Jesus, and what does days with a congregation have to do with the public ministry?  Geeze you were up agains some hard core, UNREASONABLE people.....I just wish you had said you had to stop because you did not want to "cast your pearls before swine".....oompa

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AuldSoulRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost

(((noontide))),

That just sickens me. No one should have to endure that sort of demeaning talk from their family.

The apostles came back and reported their experiences and the amount of days they spent with the congregations. That is why we should report hours today.

They did NOT fill out slips of paper confidentially to be catalogued and compiled by accountants. They publicly talked about their activity and experiences, that is vastly different from what the organization requires today.

Jehovah has always had an organization. He always works through his organization.

This is the standard line. Ask them who God's organization was in 800 AD, 1100 AD, and 1300 AD. Watch the backpedaling begin.

So now I am smarter than the Slave, Satan thought he was smarter than God.

You mean they AGREED that they think the Slave is God? Wow! I don't think I could have let that one pass by. But, are they saying the Slave is smarter than YOU? The Slave has never claimed to be smarter than you, so why should youcredit their insights with being any better or worse than your own? They have never proved they have God's backing, have they?

Once they cut me off, I will be all alone in the world.

Only for so long as you continue to believe the world is as they say it is. As soon as you open up to it, it will open up to you and you will find that you are FAR from alone in the world.

Respectfully,
AuldSoul

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sacoltonRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost

The hard-line Jehovah's Witness can only be illustrated like this ...

alt

They all wear horse-blinders. You can try to show them factual evidence of the WTBTS not being "God's Organization" and they will refuse to acknowledge it.  It is not unlike a child who sticks their fingers in their ears and says, "la la la la not listening not listening la la la la" ... so, it really makes you wonder if Jehovah's Witnesses are really interested in the TRUTH at all.  I don't think it has anything to do with "truth" and everything to do with wanting to belong to something and to have an identity.  How can they expect to know the truth about anything when they will never research outside the organization?  Most have no motivation to investigate.  Call it lazy.  Most will only listen to what the Governing Body tell them.  Call it brain-washed ... but they aren't interested in knowing the truth.

Remember the story how Jehovah made the heart of the Pharoah unchangeable, so that he can be made an example of?  Well, it is no different with most Jehovah's Witnesses ... God has made them blind to the truth.

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momzcrazyRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost
I feel like I didn’t score any points.

They would be bad Witnesses if they let you feel as if you did. The point is that you got to have your say. You were honest with them and yourself. So you actually WON!

momz

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lisavegas420Re: I went head to head with my family and I lost

I'm sure many, if not all cults use the same reasoning/nonreasoning with their members. 

When the members are too afraid/busy or whatever to ever see any thing more than what they currently know, they remain stuck.

 

Sad, very sad.

 

I don't think you lost at all....but it would have been more fair, if you'd had back up with you. 

 

lisa

 

 

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Jim_TXRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost
"· Children baptized at a young age (7,8,9 years old) they are not old enough or mature enough to comprehend what they are doing.
o If Jehovah did not approve of this, the Slave would have changed this a long time ago. They are old enough to comprehend what they are doing (marriage is completely different, it does not apply here). Gave examples of the children that became kings in biblical times. These kids were Jehovah approved; the same principle applies today. "

Are they referring to King David? Is this the same one who had the fella sent into battle - so he would get killed - and David could have his wife? Didn't King David do other things that dis-pleased Jehovah? Yeah... great example - King David. This proves YOUR point - that is - getting baptized at a young age - is a bad idea. Kids do not have mature judgement at this young of an age, which often times carries on into their adult life.

Also - wasn't Jesus - our foremost example in the bible - baptized when he was 31 or so? Shouldn't true JWs wait until they are more mature - perhaps late 20's or even 30?

Even the local governments know that youngsters do not have good judgement at a young age. This is why there are laws against drinking under 21 - or smoking (age?) - even driving - until they reach a certain age. Kids do NOT have good judgement at such a young age (7,8,9 years old). This is known. It is a fact.

I'd say you just panicked - were out-numbered - and couldn't think straight.

Next time - tell thm that you'll discuss points with them - but only allow ONE spokesperson - not multiple spokes-people.

Regards,

Jim TX

 

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sspoRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost

You did well, did not lose the argument.

Talking to witnesses it's like talking to mules.

It's good to keep in mi.nd to show mercy toward them since all of us used to feel the same way and had the same twisted reasoning for decades and used to argue with anyone that challenged us.

The only hope one day is that the society will screw up badly and maybe many will wake up 

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GayleRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost

I am sorry for your circumstance with your family. So difficult!

I am wondering how a reverse psychology would work:

(State)  It's wonderful!: 

    The organization doesn't want to be burdensome any more, so soon to have meetings just 2x/wk now instead instead of 3/wk.  That's great!   The organization didn't use to allow alternative service choice to the brothers, now do (allows personal conscience).  The organization didn't use to allow vaccinations at one time, now do (allows personal conscience).  The organization didn't use to allow organ transplants, now do (allows personal conscience).  The organization didn't use to allow blood fractions, now do (allows personal conscience).  The organization now allows JWs in Bulgaria to take blood transfusions without even announcing that "they are no longer Jehovah's Witnesses."  (State)  Recently the organization stated there will be future "new light" that the brothers may have to adapt to.  Exciting, makes me wonder, what will change next?!                                

 

 

.

 

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Layla33Re: I went head to head with my family and I lost

The only way to win with the JWs is to stop arguing and start living.  When you let them know they have absolutely no control or say in your life and that you are going to be happy, productive and positive, they  have no choice.

It's not about debating and winning, it's about having the final word on what you are going to do with your life.

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Meeting Junkie No MoreRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost

3 hours!  WOW - sounds exhausting.  I think you did good just to survive it!  Anyhow, what works for me is I just drop a few hints that I no longer go to meetings, because I have such a hard time reconciling what I hear with what I see - talk about all the love in the organization vs. all the back-biting, gossip etc.; talk about how close the end is althewhile hearing about the Society's 8-year plan for South America, etc., talk about the importance of young ones getting an education vs. education being Satan-controlled.  I mean, how much doublespeak can one person endure on a never-ending basis?  Just better to tune out the cacophany. 

IMHO, I think you will have more success dealing with individuals rather than groups.  With individual discussions, I think you get to reach the true person underneath the cult persona, but in a group, they go into groupthink/groupspeak without even realizing it.  Anyhow, I think you did great just to get through it.  Thanks for sharing.

 

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TerryRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost
The essence of the “conversation” was that since I’m not going to the meetings, aka: in the “organization”, I’m not a good person. They said I’m an independent thinker and straddling the line towards apostasy.

You didn't pick the  family's weakest spot for your argument to take effect; you picked your weakest spot.

Authority.

The Watchtower Organization has placed themselves BETWEEN your family and yourself the way the serpent in Eden placed itself between humans and God.

According to God it is YOU who are the family head.

You aren't challenging God's arrangement. It is the Governing Body who is challenging it.

In Jesus' day who was the religious Authority?

Judaism consisted of a Priesthood and officials. Jesus constantly challenged them, did he not?

Why?

Although the Priesthood, the officials representing True Religion were in Authority---THEY MISSED THE ENTIRE POINT of existing on BEHALF of the practioners of "True Religion" and were leading them toward judgement instead of forgiveness.

Stop and re-read that statement.

Jesus challenged Authority on the basis of the PURPOSE of true religious practice.

What is that purpose?

Freeing humans from judgement and condemnation!

The Watchtower authority is making the same mistake as the officials of Judaism in Jesus' day!

Humans do not exist to SERVE the whims and dictates of the Governing Body. Humans are to BE SERVED, instead.

To be served by any organization they would find themselves being UNBURDENED by fetish practice of rules, regulations, dictates, sacrifices and quotas.

The opposite happens within the Kingdom Hall.

You are claiming your God given right as head of your family to point out this ERROR and mirror the example of JESUS in restoring true worship for the purpose of freeing your family from legalistic ritual.

You see the difference?

Otherwise, you are seen by them as being a rebel and a nay-sayer who is jeopardizing their well-being in Jehovah's sight.

Like Jesus--you will point out where these officials have gone wrong even if it means debates, arguments, name-calling and pronouncements that are less than meek--JUST AS JESUS DID.

Jehovah's plan is to release humans from the slavery of ritual and the burden of law and its condemnations.  Jehovah's Witnesses are heaped with burdens and beaten by their Evil Slave organization by being made to feel they must earn their salvation by going door to door, attending meetings and keeping their mouths shut.

Assert your right to Authority and don't let these hijacking morons replace you as head of your own household!!

 

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real oneRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost


· We should use our heads, use reason and logic and not agree with everything the “Slave” says.
o That sounds like and apostate thought. Even if the “Slave” is misguided, Jehovah will clear things up in his own time.

This is one of the ones that get me. Did Jesus tell us to follow blind people? You know like the blind leading the blind? No! They are lazy and they don't think for themselves. Jesus told us to make sure what the preacher says is in the Bible. jw teach some truth mixed with lies. When you stand in front of Jehovah do you think he is going to ask you about an organization? No! He is going to read your heart. He is going to see if you asked for forgiveness for your sins. No one can save you except God not man or men! I hope you continue to learn about our marvelous God and study his word.

Don't worry about what they say as long as God is in your heart. Ask them to show you what they say in the Bible. Use the NIV or KJV, just some advice because they have changed the Bible, here is another discussion.    

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real oneRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost
Terry said it all!
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jgnatRe: I went head to head with my family and I lost

If reason alone could release the delusional from their bonds, we could empty the mental institutions. If by "winning" you were hoping to bring along your family by the quality of your arguments, you have your answer. The person has to be primed to hear first.

The long, slow battle is priming people to hear. Tease them and tempt them with your independence. If they ask how you are doing, ask them frankly if they really want to know and if they are prepared to hear the answer, even if it is unpleasant. Then you can zap them with your zinger.

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