After reading your story, it doesnt sound to me that the tatoo is the real problem.

My advise is to fight the problem, if possible, not the symptom of the problem.

Well...I have learned that you can't make people do - or not do anything you don't want them to!  I completely understand why you are upset, but your hubby is probably going to get another tattoo whether you like it or not (as evidenced by the first one)...perhaps it will help the two of you if he feels you are being supportive. 

MMO

IP  You are right, there is a big problem. I just dont know how to handle it. Im trying to ride along with it, if hes just feeling unsure at the moment I dont want to create more issues.

But its like living with a spoiled teenager at the moment and hes treating me as if im his mum,  Something I dont want to be.

I really agree with IP also, I was just a little apprehensive to go there. Perhaps planning some fun Romantic things & outings

would jump start him out of the hum drum he is feeling. Maybe two bikes are in order!

lol

hope4others

I'd say:

- you'll have to live with the tatoo
- he'll have to live with you not liking it
- consider enhancing your budgeting by setting up accounts into which a small amount of 'piss up against the wall' money goes each pay.  You get an automatic 200 pound credit in yours to start with, because you haven't had a tatoo done.  Stuff like this, which is entirely personal, has to come out of the Wall account.  He can spend his on tatoos or save up for a bike or whatever he wants.  You can spend yours on whatever it is that you want. 

Equity = respect.

I agree with everyone else, there is a bigger issue here than tats. He is making alot of strange choices that are making you feel insecure. My husband did the same after he left the org. Of course, he went on the road as a bus driver for rock acts. So think of what your husband is doing and multiply it by 1000!!!  I stuck around, mainly because of still being a Witness if I'm completely honest. So I let him make all his changes and become basically a new person. Now that I have left the org, I am not being afforded the same rights as I gave him. He, our kids, and his family are freaking out because I have left the confining box I was in for so long.

If he will agree, I strongly suggest marraige counseling. It will help you both figure out how to give the other person what they need right now, a time of major life changes.

I hate to agree with cab1000, but I do. For some reason a new partner goes along with such huge changes. So if you want him still, be prepared to fight.

Good Luck,

momz

oompa!!! That's a scary thing to face, let alone admit out loud! Sometimes we need to go around the block to get to our real destination.

momz

Good Lord, how the he** did I miss that?????? Sorry oompa baby!

Um, summerwine. My advice changes. I hate to say it, but you may become one of the things he changes. Very likely in fact. He is giving all the signs of another woman. The "I don't love you anymore" and the "missed out" are the clinchers. Everything else is supprting arguement.

Sorry.

momz