Alone - maybe you are experiencing the lack of unity and closeness that all humans are adapted to = natures human experience?
The WT is an empty vessel for human closeness and soul bonding making its noises whilst the world has moved on.
Maybe your anger is at the lies that deceived your whole existence.
The WT does not deserve its place amongst humankind - its divine claims are pure lies and deception.
I hope you find solice in some people someplace.
I am thinking of moving on even from here - I feel zero connection most places. Maybe that is what they have done with you?
Best wishes because you deserve them! The most giving end up with little but their own heart and purity of inner spirit - no matter how tainted by the large groups of smiling vultures under the billboards of large corporations.
Your sort are worth a great crowd of them. But alone is hard. Alone is tough.
http://thelightbody.com/2006/03/05/theendofsex/
This guy seems to have a few talk shows on this link for the individual to locate inner strength.
The guy is Matt Guest and some of his stuff I found helpful.
Trouble is, as we know, life has no replacement! And it sometimes feels like we're in constant search for exactly that! Many tell us the real truth is in ourselves and the NOW - but I still say maybe that is for those who already have bonds to many others. Ones who have little or mone are still alienated from species they are a part of.
I can see why you were away 3 months and are back.
Maybe I will see if I can make it permanent. I am chasing a horse on a carousel with no chance of catching it! I wish to get off cuz I'm dizzy.
Where to go from there is nowhere. That is our place - not ideal but far better than any KH, far better!!
Hope your Joshua Tree helps you find someplace somewhere you connect with.
Crusoe.