Frenchy,
I agree that if disfellowshipping meant "membership revoked," with no shunning involved, it would be quite a bit more palatable.
An active JW wandered into chat this past weekend and brought up the subject of disfellowshipping. This person wanted to see scriptural evidence that the JW practice is wrong. When I began reading up on this topic, I realized that it's not so much the basic premise that is flawed--both Jesus and Paul urged followers to distance themselves from unrepentant sinners--but the methods and rules that JWs use to regulate this procedure.
There are other questions, even with the simple scenario you describe. Who decides when a person's membership should be revoked? Is this a group decision, an individual decision, or a decision made by a secret committee of three elders? Who decides when a person is repentant?
Here's a link to the discussion we had after the active Jehovah's Witness appeared in chat:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=15500&site=3Ginny