Outlaw, I too left without any notice or formal disassociation letter. But when the elders wanted to talk to me about it, I agreed. I did not change my mind or agree with them that I was doing something wrong, but I still had that feeling in their presence that they were my superiors and still had some hold over me. Mentaly I knew that they were no better or worse than the average Joe on the street, but after 6 years with these people as my rule-makers and authority figures, it's hard to shake the feeling. Like when you get fired or laid off from a job. As soon as you no longer work there, your managers are nothing but ordinary people in regards to their relationship to you. But you still have the feeling of respect or fear or resposibility to them for a while.