Since I'm still relatively young i don't have as many years in it as some, but nonetheless I'm angry. What angers me the most is that im only 25 and i didn't get to do the things that a normal 20-25 year old does because i was trying to live a good "Christian" life. Date lots of girls, go to college, travel, etc.I started working full time right out of high school. The only girl I've ever dated is the girl that i married. Not that its a bad thing, and i love my wife every much, but i still would have liked to have been with different girls that way i could see who was really right for me. (We really have nothing in common except being witnesses and now that doesn't even apply anymore.)I got so depressed at one point that i didnt care if i dropped dead that day. The elders came over to talk to me about it at one time and pretty much they said that i just need to study more, pray, go in service, and i would feel better. Nope. Fortunately I'm in college now, and in June im going to Japan for a month to stay with some "Worldly" friends. My friends from work have been so helpful as far as making me feel loved. I knew i was going to lose everyone when i decided to fade and it was a terrible feeling, but knowing that there were people who care about you regardless of what god you worship makes all the difference. Finally, the thing im most angry about is the fact that ive been so indoctrinated that even though i see so much wrong and so many things that i disagree with, (Even more so now that im on the outside looking in) i still always have a nagging feeling in the back of my head that im gonna die because im being petty and leaving gods organization. The hold that they have over you is tremendous, especially when the first words you ever spoke as a baby were "Paradise coming".