To all of you,
Thanks so much for the support and encouragement. There are many things (upheavals) going on in my life right now some bad, some awful and some experiences I have had over the past week have been the happiest days of my life too. Perhaps its this blend which led me to post this here.
In any event, there are questions I cannot answer - for the sake of my family. Questions like: country and how long (I will tell you it was for more than 3 years - thats all. The society can quite quickly deduce things from such information if I give it out specifically....I have met other brothers from other countries....they say I was in prison for x years....and many times I know by x where they were imprisoned).
We spent many nights cold and hungry and some times the military would give us bad food - which made us ill...(I carried more than one brother unconcious to the hospital....as I was myself on occasion).
We stood up to the military, we did hard time (manual labor digging trenches by hand, no luxuries, no TVs, radios, etc -just your clothes - 2 overalls) a bunch of boys (too young to really be called men) for the principles such as "My kingdom is NO PART of this world". We took our licks for it. We did so proudly and we each thought "Jehovah's Heart is rejoicing as we make our reply to the one who is taunting him". Even now my mother is able to come to terms with my inactivity as a JW by saying "it's OK. Jehovah will not forget about it." She thinks somehow I earned heaven-credit or something.... I love the angel who made me so happy.
While I am not sure if I have it in me to kill people.....we were not allowed (by the society) to do alternate service at the time. This was subsequently amended when "new light" came out. I have discussed this before now with elders......I cannot accept the "new light" without some form of apology. Why can't they just say "the organization was wrong"? A bunch of pathetic rationalizing went on and I just looked at them and said nothing. Some of them even told me privately they understood my viewpoint on the matter.
Now the UN thing....the hypocrisy!!! I am disgusted. If they want to DF me for it they can - then I will see them in court and I will take it to the public press all over. I am unstable right now, I am close the point where I am ready to lose everything....but then so will they.
There are more than one of me here.