As JWs we learned a lot about persuasion and how to get people to accept our ideas. We had role plays on over coming objections. We were taught how to anticipate typical questions and respond to them. We were taught that we should answer in a mild manner when people were angry with us, as it would "heap coals of fire on their foreheads." We learned to go slowly and deal with one simple message at a time. We were taught to spend months with one person in study in order convince them of our truth.

Now once we are out, and we meet newbies, do all the skills we learned go out the window??
JWs come here. Some nebies are ridiculed. Some are called trolls. Some are dealt filthy rebukes. How does all that fit with what we were once skilled at???

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

As true as what you are saying, I never was good at being a JW. I hated going out in service and I never could convince someone I had the truth. Now that I actually have real truth, I still can't convince a JW that I now have the real truth. So I just stay out of those threads. I read them sometimes to try to learn the art of persuasion.

"Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

Simon,

Sensible advice.

HS

Hello everyone, Even though I sucked at the service thing and public speaking because I was terribly shy I have noticed that one thing I have carried with me when I left was the defense mode. When I first met my boyfriend I found myself challenging his beliefs, and religious preference. We had alot in common and both loved to talk religion. It took me while to realise I was challenging him, and I was quite defensive, and would be ready with a counter attack. Funny cause I didn't believe as a jw anymore ,but the tecnique was still there. Now when we talk I try to erase the former beliefs, and battle mode so I can listen with an open mind. Take care,
terry

Online communication is still in it infancy. We are still all learning how to most effectively communicate in this new arena.

But, in general, I agree with Larc.

Everything is marketing and Marketing is everything.

Joel

HS,

Your observations are accurate: there are several of us who try hard not to resort to insults. In my case, it is a learned skill. :) I used to get much more caught up in the give-and-take that goes on in online forums, during my early H2O days. I eventually tired of it, and determined not to do it any more. With a few notable exceptions since, I have kept to this and I believe it is a better approach.

As for my story, I posted it long ago on H2O and see no need to go into it again. Those who are interested can read my much-too-long explanation from H2O, as captured by Osarsif on his excellent site:

http://www.geocities.com/osarsif/index2.htm

Just scroll down looking for the "Seeker" section and you will see a series of posts under the heading "Why I will leave." Feel free to read my story there.

larc

You make a good point. On the other hand, we arn't jws anymore. Most here aren't christian . So, we don't need to speak like jws or christians. We aren't evangelists. We have no responsibilities to convert anyone. Each can have his/her own standards. Are you trying to keep us to jw standards, just under a new name or no name? Come on. Jws have an obligation to meet jw standards. Christians, christian standards. What standards are there for agnostics or aetheists? They choose their own. Their natures determine their standards.

On the other hand, there is nothing wrong with civility, or high quality writing, or logical coherent arguement;).

S

SaintSatan,

I am not sure that I understand your reasoning on this issue.

Larc as I see it, is calling for more responsible and civil standard of behavoir on this Board, a sentiment that I personally agree with. You noted:

Are you implying that Christians and JW's have a higher 'standards' of behavoir than those who have left their religion behind them?

Kind regards - HS

I agree with Saint Satan (I think). That is, if what he's saying is: while we agree with the use of civility and cohesive argument, not all of us here have an agenda to recruit current JW's to the ExJW community. Some are here to heal, and some who are in this process, their words are angry and full of stuffed down emotion, which comes out after years as very vitriolic. They are healing. It's not pretty.
I personally have no agenda here. I like to listen and talk to others who've shared a similar life experience. I guess the closest thing to an agenda that I have is to force and keep the WTBTS honest with it's adherants, the governments under which they "work", and the public they seek to recruit. I could care less if someone wants to remain or become a witness or not, but if they talk to me, they're going to be fully informed about what they're in or getting themselves into.
I could definitely get on board with more civility, but don't care to join a recruiting campaign of JW's. Although, it's karmically appealing, I'll let the natural laws of Karma balance out all the ill effects that the WTBTS has wrought.
Pax,
B.

well,
The fact is dishonest and disruptive individuals(read trolls) do come aboard on boards like these.
I personally have 0 tolerance for such shenanigans.
I am not here to 'persuade' anyone from their belief.I will present info and fact,they do with it what they will.
There is not just one right way,or one right approach. Calling for such is conformist.
There are diverse values and communication styles here. What offends one,doesn't bother another in the least. People will learn to use some thinking skills and develop personal discernment by sifting and drawing to the ones that appeal to them. Skills that were NOT allowed by the WTS. THEY inculcated and demanded conformity of thought,style and communication. They censored individuality.
I happen to appreciate all styles,whether I agree with them or not.
I've often learned form these.
yes,there is in your face,and there are softer/gentler styles. Just as there are personalities who respond to both. SInce I have no agenda to pull people out of the WTS,no mission,I think it's best to leave everyone to their own style.Advocating the use of persuasive WTS techniques is becoming just as low as they are.
People are here for many reasons,some mentioned in the above posts. We should keep this mind.
I will and have wholeheartedly helped any who ask for assistance,info, and support.I keep in mind this is THEIR personal journey.To stay or leave is a conclusion they need to settle in their own mind and in their own time.I do not see any benefit from persuading,which to me is coercion . I find the calling to remeber our 'persuasive techniques' highly unethical. But that's just me. Jw's only leave when they have worked thru issues and doubts themselves. I have rarely seen where 'pulling and persuasion' is very effective. It becomes effective when they make the data 'their own'.
Also larc,when you condemn/make a judgement on a long-time poster make sure that 'newbie,trolls' whatever, are judged by the SAME criteria.Especially one who brags about being kicked off other boards for crappy behavior,thus,who knows better.

si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes