Maybe Mom was right about Mad Magazine being a bad influence on us kids. Anyway, here are some old tunes you would never catch a JW humming with more appropriate lyrics for our day and age.

This one is sung to the tune of "From the Halls of Montezuma"

From Dateline and the radio, and TV signals into space,
He fights us on our two person rule, and our secret database,
Satan spreads the news of pedophiles, and their victims' strife,
We work to silence all the lambs, for everlasting life!

This one is sung to the tune of "The Age of Aquarius"

Forget all the Awake articles,
that glorify that old wild beast,
Fred's talk of a disgusting thing,
Did not faze us in the least,

This is the reason for the UN library card,
        the UN library card,
Library card, li-brar-y card!

Forget about understanding,
NGO and lies abounding!
No more harlot revelations,
Of worldly United Nations!
Oh what complications,
For the minds of our congregations!

Library card, li-brar-y card!

Thanks Bebu. I got another one I've been working on. I reworked the lyrics to a TV Show that many here (myself included) think is the best show on TV. Hopefully all yous in Jersey will take it with respect.

Here it is, Bada Bing!  Bada Boom!

You woke up this morning
Got yourself no fun,
Mama all week said you'd be
The Chosen One.

She said: You're one in a million
If you could only die,
Bulletin board a bad sign,
With your name on it so high.

You woke up this morning
All the love has gone,
Your Papa never told you
About hours so long.

But you're looking good, baby,
I believe you're dying inside, (shame about it),
In the CO's car group,
With a Truth book in your eyes.

You woke up this morning
The world turned upside down,
Thing's ain't been the same
Since the suits drove into town.

But you're one in a million
You've got that squeaky shine.
In the CO's car group,
With a Truth book in your eyes.

When you woke up this morning, everything was wrong. By half past ten your head was going ding-dong. Ringing another doorbell, shaking down to your toes. CO's voice telling you there's something you should know. You wish you were dying; the CO marks you low. Your spiel wasn't the latest all in Bethel know. The new light of things as they appear to the others; wives, mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers. Don't you wish you didn't function, wish you didn't think like a robot mech (and the donuts stink)? Well you do so make up your mind to go on, 'cos 'cos when you woke up this morning everything you knew was wrong.

Woke up this morning,
Woke up this morning,
Woke up this morning,
Don't want to be,
Don't want to be the Chosen One.
Yeah, you know it.
Just can?t help yourself, yeah.

Woke up this morning,
Woke up this morning,
Woke up this morning,
Got yourself no fun.
Got yourself no fun.
Got yourself no fun.