A pioneer brother showed up for Monday morning weekday field service with two black eyes. His pioneer partner saw it, and said "Where'd you get the black eyes?!"
He sighed. "I got them at the Kingdom Hall on Sunday."
"What do you mean?! How'd you get black eyes at the Kingdom Hall?!" his buddy asked. "You weren't even here yesterday."
"Well, you see," he answered, "I missed the Circuit Overseer's talk last Sunday since I was sick, so I went over to the neighboring Hall yesterday to hear his talk there. I was seated right behind the CO and his wife. Anyway, at the end of his final talk, the CO asked us to all stand and sing song #212. Well, when the CO's wife stood up, I noticed her dress was caught up pretty deep in the crack of her butt. So, I reached over and pulled it out, so she wouldn't be embarrassed. She spun around and hit me with an overhand, right in my left eye."
"OK, I get that... but how did you get the other black eye?!"
"Well, then I figured she must have WANTED her dress in the crack of her ass, so I put it back in there!"