Here's a different take on the first one:
Jose and Carlos are panhandlers. They panhandle in different areas of a Southern California town. Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects 2 to 3 dollars every day. Jose brings home a suitcase FULL of $100 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Carlos says to Jose, 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of $100 bills every day?'
Jose says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say?'
Carlos reads his sign. 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support.'
Jose says, 'No wonder you only get 2-3 dollars a day.'
Carlos asks, 'So what does your sign say?'
Jose shows Carlos his sign.
It reads, 'If you freely donate $100, I'll explain why we're here, what the meaning of life is, and other important questions you may have, through the revelations of my self-made religion'