Top Ten Things That Men Understand About Women
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So this is what your thinking!!!!!
Glad I'm A Man
2. A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase
3. We can open all our own jars
4. We can go to the bathroom without a support group
5. We don't have to learn to spell a new last name
6. We can leave a motel bed unmade
7. We can kill our own food
8. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
9. Wedding plans take care of themselves
10. If someone forgets to invite us to something they can still be our friend.
11. Underwear is $10 a three-pack
12. If you are 34 and single nobody notices
13. Everything on our faces stays the original color
14. Three pair of shoes are more than enough
15. We don't have to clean the house/apartment if the meter reader is coming.
16. Car mechanics tell us the truth
17. We can sit quietly and watch a game with a friend for hours withou thinking "He must be mad at me."
18. Same work - more pay
19. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character
20. We can drop by and see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
21. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit you just might become lifelong friends.
22. Your pals will never trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
23. We are not expected to know the names of more than 5 colors
24. We almost never have a "strap problem" in public
25. We are totally unable to see wrinkles in our clothes
26. The same hairstyle lasts for years - maybe decades
27. We don't have to shave below the neck
28. A few belches are expected and tolerated
29. Our belly usually hides our big hips
30. One wallet, one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons
31. We can do our nails with a pocketknife
32. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache
33. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 people on the day before Christmas and in 45 minutes.
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Housework Challenged
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Alberta.
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Men Never Say8 things you'll never hear a man say:
1. We never talk anymore.
2. Hey, let me hold your purse while you try that on.
3. Aww, forget Monday night football, let's watch D. Phil
4. Sex isn't that important, sometimes I just want to be held.
5. While I'm up, can I get you anything?
6. Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!
7. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.
8. Here honey, you use the remote.
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perhaps = no
I'm sorry = you will regret that
we need = I want
you decide = the right decision should be obvious
do it like you think = you'll pay for that!
we have to talk = I want to complain about something
do it if you like to = I don't want you to do it
I'm not angry = of course I'm angry, as***le
you're so manly = you should shave
you're really nice to me today = you're thinking of sex, don't you?
switch off the light = I have cellulites
the kitchen is impractical = I want a new house / apartment
I want new curtains = and carpets, furniture and wallpaper
do you love me? = I want to ask for something expensive
how much do you love me? = I did something you won't like
you have to learn how to communicate = you just have to have my opinion
