How about learning some good old British slang mate! (some wally talk)
in disarray
johnny
(slang) a condom (US: rubber [DM])
on the piss
(vulgar) drinking heavily; going out for the purpose of drinking heavily; at a slight angle, said of an object that should be vertical
pissing it down [with rain]
(slang, mildly vulgar) raining very hard (sometimes "pissing down" is used in the US, as in "It's pissing down out there.") Also "pissing it down the drain" or "pissing it away" meaning to waste something.
punch-up
a fistfight
rat-arsed
(slang) extremely drunk
rubber
(US eraser)
slag off
to diss, to badmouth
(have a) slash
(slang) to urinate
soap dodger
one who is thought to lack personal hygiene
Spanish archer
give someone the "elbow", which means to sack or fire them
suck it and see
to undertake a course of action without knowing its full consequences (US: take your chances
swimming costume
swimsuit or bathing suit; also cozzy for short
throw a wobbly
(informal) to lose one's temper, throw a tantrum
[go] tits up
(mildly vulgar) to suddenly go wrong (literally, to fall over). cf pear-shaped (appears in the US mainly as military jargon, sometimes sanitized to "tango uniform")
wally
(informal) buffoon, fool; milder form of idiot. Now considered an old-fashioned word. See muppet.
oat and fat sausage often eaten at breakfast, common in Ireland and Scotland
wonky
(informal) wrong, awry, not straight or stable; shaky, feeble