Ok I'll bite...
Single Caucasian male (no offense to my African bloods)
Athletic looking 55 years young
Have all my body parts and then some (if you know what I mean 
)
Oldest living heir to a nationwide restaurant chain (the rents couldn't get the will changed and Granpa hated their religion for dividing the family) that specializes in meats prohibited by Jewish law
Bilingual (English and Hillbilly)
Believes that God can't be put in a box
PM me on this board for my email address