Hi, we have so much in common. I was with my first husband from when I was a teenager, too. I am married to a Witness now.
I'm curious why he is bothering to try and convert you. Has he ever introduced you to his family? He's not supposed to be living common-law. Even if you converted, he is still in bad standing with the congregation to be living with you, unmarried.
You got that right. I would not raise children together with my JW husband, for the very reason you mentioned. I would not raise a child to think that they have to sneak around on their parents, be afraid of judgement, and judge others as unworthy of paradise. I love both my children, from my first marriage, equally, and I would do it no other way. The only way I can see to ease the tension is to agree not to have children together. Or else get him to agree to visit nondenominational churches to broaden his mind first.
I see your boyfriend has tried to "exercise his headship" over you. I don't allow such nonsense either, because of my abusive first marriage. H handel my husband very well. To my advantage I know the bible very well and I am an accomplished debater. I can give plenty of examples of strong, independent women in the bible. If he ever brings up a bible principle again, remind him he is he's separated from Jehovah because he has not formalized his commitment to you before God and the civil authorities. He's fornicating. Right back atcha, mister.
As for paradise earth, ask him how he thinks he knows you won't be there? You have a very confused young man.