It really struck me last night that my dad is pretty much gone. He has advanced alzheimers, and is slowly dying of kidney failure from 40 years of diabetes. The family stepped in and said no to dialysis, because it would be 5 hours per day 3 days per week - minimum, for limited return on quality of life. I aplaud my family for their decision. It's only time now - maybe weeks or maybe months until his body follows his mind.
Where a year ago he was lucid at times knew who I was and would carry on brief pertinent conversation, yesterday he was mostly in and out of sleep, would say a word or two and doze back to sleep again. He was pleasant and welcomed me when I came in the living room, but I really don't think he recognizes me anymore.
As much as I hated his dogmatic zeal for JWism, I wish I had him back.
My mom broke her hip on July 8th. She has been given the all clear to walk as much as she can on it including stairs. She has been dealing with my dad's incontinence (both ends) for 5 years by herself because she wont ask for help unless she is backed into a corner.
Since my mom broke her hip, my sister and her husband have been spending afternoons there. My s-i-l is spending mornings there, and my nephew (45 yo bachelor very active JW) spends the night there. So they have had support. I wish I were in a physical possition that I could play a more active role, but my own health won't allow anything other than phone calls or occasional visits My visit yesterday was so draining it put me down for 15 hours, and the emotional pain has reverberated into class 9-10 physical pain today. Dammit.
For them I wish their new system could have come. They put so much effort into it. I feel pity for them. I don't know what my mom will do when dad dies. I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't far behind. She's healthy as an 88 year old horse right now! And can run circles around any of her kids.
I had to get it out. Damn. I knew this would come some time. I always figured it would be a phonecall from someone in the family saying "dad died last month and we had the funeral without you".