happysunshine	Reflections on family - your ideas?
	I recently got an e-mail from my brother.  There were pictures of his kids and wife, visiting my ageing parents.  It was bitter-sweet.  My wife was excited to see recent pictures.  She thought it was a good chance to try visit.  But I feel strange. It’s been ten years since the family kicked me out of the house for doubting the Watchtower Society.  In that time I turned my wrecked life into a success story.  But I have an “empty place”, to quote Stuart Little.  I had a dream of getting the family together again and being normal.  I think of it almost daily.  But I am losing hope.  It has consumed me at times.   As a direct result, I feel I am gradually losing power in my daily life, finding it hard to make decisions, or get involved. I may be able to see them all again.  But I don’t know if I can handle any possible bubbling under the surface of what I perceive to be the real issue in our family – the Watchtower.    Despite the polite e-mail, I wonder about their “paradise hope” being  based on “rivers of blood” of non-Witnesses.  I don’t know if I could handle any insinuation or backhanded comments from anyone in the family, as we kids were trained to do to non-Witnesses.
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