That is what bugs me... I mean they will sit in a room with me and make small talk but only to see her... aside from the religious differences my parents and I have unresolved issues to deal with that I have tried to approach them with and everytime they just ignore me! how can I let them back into my life when they are unwilling to deal with the past?
At the same time, I won't want to be the reason my child has no relationship with her grandparents... it is a real predicament!
Let's look at this from another perspective. As a parent, you have a duty to protect your daughter from harmful influences. You wouldn't leave her unsupervised near a burning candle, would you? You wouldn't bring her into a toxic environment where she would be exposed to profanity or drug use or violence or sexually explicit behaviour, right? It is your job to protect her from people who are so blatantly disrespectful of you - if you allow the kind of disrespect your parents display toward you in your daughter's presence, those circumstances are teaching her that it is ok to be disrespectful of you. Is that what you really want?
Bottom Line: You will not be the reason why your child has no relationship with her grandparents. The grandparents' toxic behaviour toward you will be the reason why your child cannot be exposed to her grandparents.