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What to do when your parents are toxic? by Paralipomenon on
Re: What to do when your parents are toxic? by Lady Lee on
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Re: What to do when your parents are toxic? by IP_SEC on
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Re: What to do when your parents are toxic? by Madame Quixote on

Lady LeeRe: What to do when your parents are toxic?


You know it is so easy for people to say "Just stay away" It is a lot harder to do.

As children our lives depended on these adults to care for us. It isn't unusual for children to start caring for their parents in the hopes that everything will be OK.

The hope is "If I care for you then you will care for me"

The problem is that the toxic parent never cares for the child. So the adult-child keeps trying to make everything OK.

They can't. They can't make it OK for the parents and they can't get the parents to make it OK for them. The adult-child has to leave and stop trying to make it OK for others.

The reality is that they no longer need the parents to make things OK. During that childhood they learned all the skills to care for others. Now it is time to use those skills to care for themselves. And they need to give themselves permission to stop all the caretaking of others and start caring for themselves.

A lot easier to say than do. But the first step is to identify the problem and take it from there

IP: bGwMaB/utl8BPlTL

Re: What to do when your parents are toxic? by loosie on
Re: What to do when your parents are toxic? by garybuss on
Re: What to do when your parents are toxic? by IP_SEC on
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Re: What to do when your parents are toxic? by Paralipomenon on
Re: What to do when your parents are toxic? by Lady Lee on
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