Ever heard of the book Toxic Parents? I think she needs a copy and you both go through it together
A while back I did a couple of threads and compared Toxic Parents to Toxic Religion. Take a look and pull out what you need for the Toxic Parents and see how it meets some of the insanity you are going through. Then go out and get the book
Toxic Parents Toxic Religion 1 http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/59414/1.ashx
The first post is a quote from the book. The second post is a questionaire from the book and the third is how I see the same dynamics as it applies to the WTS
Toxic Parents Toxic Religion 2 http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/59448/1.ashxThe first post is another quote from the book which you both should find helpful