Did you have to de-program yourself?

I am awaiting some material on how to free yourself from cult issues, and mind control. I was wondering if any of your have read any good books on this, and if you find it has helped in your recovery after leaving JW?

I am sure that the WT is not God's organization and all that goes with identifying myself as an ex jw. But there seems to be something still inside that is bothering me and I really can't put my finger on what my negative feelings are . I am not sure that it is just life changing and trying to fit in, or because I miss the spirituality I thought I once had. I just feel like I need more study and research on the issue of how to rid yourself of any guilt for leaving JW. Sometimes drivng in my car , the thought just hits me that I have done something I never thought I would, I disassociated myself from the God I believed and JW. I can't seem to find my way back to a relationship with God , until I get this JW baggage  out of the way. Does anyone eles ever feel this way, if only for a passing second?

It really depends on what makes you exit the BORG. In my case and the cases of many others, they don't even realize how truly monstrous it is until they find out the info on the Web about it - personally, I just wanted to forget about it, and then I ran into Watchtower Observer and the rest is history. Maybe there was some sort of subconscious "deprogramming" taking place in the years before I found this place and after leaving...

Dede...my jw experience has left me feeling put off the idea of worshipping some heavenly entity now...but I do hold on to some of the ideals, not just from the bible, but from other religions. I piece things together until I feel comfortable with it. I don't think that I will ever return to God, a God, or the Jew's God at least...but I haven't given up entirely on myself.

I'm the same as SYN...I never went through any deprogramming sessions to get to this point, I left the troof, then realised in time that it was NEVER the troof...and only then did I manage to free myself of the guilt that I suffered for years after my exit. I sometimes think that I'm 'over it'...yet I am still here. Strange that

~Beck~

ps..I will get some deprogramming information for you from Pappusan and Refiners Fire, they are both involved in it, in a big way. They may have references to some good books or something like that.

Hmmm. Well i dont know about deprogramming anyone. I know some tricks in dealing with people in cults, like how to get them to talk about things theyre not supposed to, and how to make them more receptive to what you are saying if your crticizing their cult. But thats about it. In terms of deprogramming yourself, I can only recommend extensive reading and thinking upon what you read. I read a few books that REALLY opened my eyes.  Jaques Ellul's "Propaganda" had a bigh effect upon me. I read his explanations of propaganda technique and presentation of information and saw a lot of the techniques in the Dub literature. Liftons "thought reform" is an important book, and Erica Heftmanns "dark side of the Moonies" has a very good explanation at the end that explains cult control techniques. All these books assisted me to understand what had happened to me personally in the dubs. Other than that nothing will deprogram you out of believing the dubs quicker than reading Watchtowers from the 1920s . Read Elluls "propaganda", then read Watchtowers from Rutherfords era, and the facts are quite apparent.

Edited by - refiners fire on 3 October 2002 4:20:21

You may enjoy a book, "Rediscovering a Felt Presence of God".

I feel the same way beck.  It is really strange, because i have this desire to serve God, but dont really know where or how to do it.  I really want to go to church, but I know hubby doesnt want me to.  He is inactive, but thinks the churches are a hoax.  Like the jw's arent!!  Anyway, i think I will get the book that Dia recomended, it sounds like it would be helpful.  I read Crisis of Conscience, and it helped me to understand why the WT org was wrong, but I still need to understand who God is and how to worship.

mamashel

I read everything I could get my hands on about cults and mind control.

I read everything I could about JWs and the WTS

I took an Alpha Course in the Angican Church (free and no obligation whatsoever) to find out the basics about Christ.

I started reading the Bible and doing my own research. I could only handle religious doctrinal material as "one person's opinion" and from that form my own ideas

Mostly I go with my own feeling about things based on everything I have learned.

Every now and then I come across a piece of information that challenges what I was taught as a JW. That sends me off to do a bit more research. One piece at a time to undo all the crap.

Other than that nothing will deprogram you out of believing the dubs quicker than reading Watchtowers from the 1920s . Read Elluls "propaganda", then read Watchtowers from Rutherfords era, and the facts are quite apparent.

#############

 

bammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

so true as you read that goofy stuff you  will see clearly how they are not a spokesman for god

in fact you almost will laugh at the info they put off on jw as FOOD FROM GOD

 

one is left thinking that god is pretty dumb

dede......and excellent book that I read, and use as reference at times, is "Captive Hearts Captive Minds" (freedom and recovery from cults and abusive relationships) written by Madeleine Landau Tobias and Janja Lalich.  I highly recommend this book. 

When I was doing my internship, I was priveledged to go along w/one of the SW who did "exit counseling" for someone leaving a cult.  This particular SW use to be a Moonie and I found it extremely interesting what he had to do and how he had to recover leaving.  He recommended the book to me.

Hey there Dede!!

Here are a couple of links for you:

This is a great website.  Once you get there, you can click on the links area for even more sites and information

http://www.rickross.com/

One area of the site in particular to look at, which is focused on recovery issues is:

http://www.rickross.com/recovery.html

(((((Dede)))))

XW

 

 

Dede:

Releasing the Bonds, by is a good book.  I really enjoyed it, it advocates thinking for yourself.

I found that after leaving the JW's I tended to be easily manipulated.  Or, I guess a better way to explain it was I metamorphosized easily depending on who I was around.  I had to Learn to trust my instincts and think for myself.  It took me a while to figure out who I was; this book gave me some good exercises to do that.

 

((((((DEDE)))))))

        I absolutely can relate to everything you wrote. I left in 96 and it takes time. I can't express that enough. We were taught this stuff from so very young. It can be likened to having to erase a cassete tape in our minds. It plays over and over and over. The guilt is simply part of having the false teachings replaced with true teachings. You can gain tons of insight about the pattern of the deceit and it will unravel. It is not easy but you can do it and you will be completely free.

        The first books that I read were from a Christian book store. I was so damned scared in there w/ all the crosses. I was sure that I was going to die. I asked the lady if she had any books on jw's and she walked me over to them. I glanced at a few and then I came across a former elder's books. They were called, Jehovah's witnesses Verse by Verse     and Answering Jehovah's Witnesses Subject by Subject. Both are authored by David A. Reed. These books were particularly helpful because the old tape in my mind needed to understand the scriptures as opposed to what we were taught. I was very cautious because I wasn't about to just believe someone again. I was always a berean and questioned much. Say a prayer for guidance darlin and do yourself the humungous favor of checking out Matt.11-28-30 and read it again and again until you see what he is saying. Then check out John 5:39-40. This should give you some pause to think and realize just where eternal life is and where it isn't. It's not in an org. or a church. It is grounded in truth and that truth will set you free. Don't be frightened to do what Jesus asks of you in Matt. I'll pray for you and you can do it. Just go girl, you can do it. Peace and love I offer you Dede. Man, I remember the feelings that you are expressing. It was a very lost and uncomfortable place. If you let Him feed you then your search will end and your new life will begin. I am not preaching a religion, do you see that. I hope so. Take care Dede.

                                       With love, Dj

P.S. Those books above that I mentioned are where I started, that doesn't mean that you need to. I just needed to be de-programmed and set straight w/o fear. You can get them (cheap) at www.freeminds.org

I think I know what you're talking about.  My wife and I are currently wrestling with whether or not to allow our daughter to attend her first birthday party.  Now, we no longer have any objections to celebrating a birthdays, but that old JW programming comes into play and we're kinda hesitant.  Yet when we ask ourselves why, we don't really have a good reason why she shouldn't.  None of our daughter's JW friends have ever invited her to come over to their house to play (we've always done the inviting).  The little girl from school who invited Jennie is much better association (there's that ugly word again!) than most of her JW friends and we are wanting Jennie to get with some good kids at school.  But it is a strange and odd feeling the first time you actually go against that old JW programming.  You can actually hear the rule breaking! 

Maybe what you need to do is take the leap, you know?  Just take a leap and see. 

Hey Lyin',

I'm wondering if you've ever read any material on the freeminds.org web site.   I've found a lot of information here that has helped me understand true Christianity as opposted to WT doctrine.

One book available through the site is ,"Refuting Jehovahs Witnesses" by Randy Waters.   This book uses scripture to show how many JW doctrine are not biblical.     

I understand how dificult it must be to pick up a bible or other religious book, without feeling guilty about leaving the WT.   Try to understand that just because you left the WT, you didn't leave God.   He is with you and you can't seperate from Him by leaving any organization.

I would also suggest not using your old NWT bible if you want to start reading the bible again.   Buy a new bible, Wal-mart sells them, so you don't even have to go into a Christian bookstore.   When you read a scripture from your NWT bible your already programmed as to what you should think about what you've read.   Use another translation and it might help you make up your own mind.

Peace to you and WT, and all the little Lyin' - Turkeys!!!    HA HA (sorry, I couldn't resist)

Thanks for the reply, it helps to know this is just more of the stages of recovery, I am going thru.

DJ, I did read those scriptures and found great comfort in them , thanks, I need to pic the Bible up more and see what happens. It does make my heart warm , I just need to realise that picking up a Bible doesnt mean I have to go back to believing the JW way. I was always so scared to read it for awhile thinking it would make me scared and want to go back. But I am way past wanting to go back now. Thanks for the prayers and kind thoughts. hugs,,,,,,,,,,,

I am going to do alot more studing on Freeminds, and read the books others have spoken about. I feel it will be so refreshing, to be able to let it all go one day. I know being raised JW you whole life, will always be with you, and I will learn to get past all of it, not all of it was bad. I try to remember the good things, and know that we all have been thru the same thing and it is great we can laugh about it now, and even make fun of ourselves at times. But then there are times when we can be serious and help others who were stuck with doubts like we were at first. There are so many on this board who are in different stages of leaving the JW and recovery. I think it is important to open up and let others see how we all acknowledge we don't have all the answers , and it shows the true humanity that JW's don't show. That is that we care enough about strangers, our fellow man, to expose all the embarrassing stuff we have and are going thru to help them out too.

Thanks to all of you for doing that for me since I came here, and for helping all those who are struggling with conflicting feelings.............all my love, dede