I sometimes feel this spiritual void inside, like I'm standing at the edge of an abyss, and it's so much that I can hardly take it. The odd thing about it is that I always feel it when I'm starting to get close to a lady, close enough to where those deep feelings start to arise - where a momentary look into her eyes feels like a thousand years of life experience and the ephemeral nature of life becomes most painfully plain.
Are you in love-attached? Are you referring to fate here, or the fear of ever losing this person to death?
I think that I need to believe in God, somehow, someway, if I'm gonna get through life without going nuts and/or doing myself harm. But I can't believe in a personal God. I feel self-conscious and a bit silly when I pray, and always have. Maybe it's the way I pray, where I feel like I'm talking to my dad or something (my dad and I have always had a stiff relationship).
You need someone to talk to? I don't mean god or a therapist, but someone who you can open up to honestly?
If you're like me and have found that the notion of a personal god leaves you flat, have you found a spiritual place for yourself? Do you see beauty in life? Are you able to pray and feel like it means something?
I don't know that I'd use the word spiritual to relate how I feel about my place in this world. I do see beauty in life. I cannot pray and feel like it means anything. I can think and talk to myself in my head, meditate, I guess. I am down on myself much, much less. :)