The typical witness dictum by the elders in cases of abuse is "pray more, draw closer to the congregation, study." They miss all the real issues -
I had an experience with a sister who was being abused - the elders would not give her any help - she confided that she was about to commit suicide - and still no help - my wife and I were demonized by the local PO for giving her a shoulder to cry on - I was even subtly accused of setting myself and her up for fornication - All for being a friend in need.
There is just no way that these untrained, uneducated, and uncaring men should be shepherding 'the flock'. It is a real travesty!
Too many wasted lives have been reported here!
Jeff