Holy thread resurrection,
Phil! I don't know. There are worse things. I have a son with a chronic mental illness and drug problems. There's not a month goes by I don't grieve for him one way or another. If he is having a good month, on the prescription drugs and off the street ones, I suddenly get my child back! I kind of go all crazy, grabbing every happy moment to store in my memory banks.
Maybe there are ways you can slide through the slights and the cancelled get-togethers to grab a few moments with the child you remember. If they'll let you.